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The picture above is from one of my facebook contacts and I enjoyed reading it and wanted to share it. It contains an important message and it very much struck a chord with me. Those who know me, work with me and interact with me will find that I seem like a very positive person, and quite happy. The question then is have I ever experienced pain and suffering, and the answer to that is just like everyone else on this planet I have. In fact I have experienced things that other people have not. However my experiences have made me stronger and more resilient.

Self-pity

Image source.

Image source.

I had the choice to engage in self-pity and negativity, to dwell in that, and subconsciously want and even expect sympathy from others. Or I had the choice to be pro-active, to not engage in self-pity or being stuck in the past and move on. I chose the latter.

Now there are other people out there who are “turned off” by positive thinking and want to be negative and complain. A lot of that actually stems from laziness, that is not to deny that there are people out there who have suffered immensely and will take a long time to recover. They in fact dislike people who are too positive and there is a degree of jealousy.

Image source. Courtesy of Scott Albrecht.

If you have been following my recent blogs you will know that I have been talking that nothing is achieved without hard work, and that I myself am seeking to demonstrate this by writing 34 posts this month. All of these 34 posts must be original work of mine in my own words, must be 300 words minimum and must provide some sort of value or benefit for the reader, so far this is my 13 post so I will have 21 more posts left until the 29th February which works out at roughly 2 posts a day from now on.

Hard work = no time wasting = no time for feeling sorry for yourself

Now hard work means that you will be busy, you will be preoccupied, that you will be stretching yourself to meet deadlines, targets. When you are doing such a thing time is very precious and must be utilized in the best way as possible. Wasting time is a complete and utter NO NO. You simply do not have time to engage in unnecessary and unproductive things. One unproductive thing is too much thinking or wondering as opposed to DOING. Time waits for no one as the image above says. Successful people do not have time to feel how bad life has been to them and what a horrible place the world is. They are too busy making the world a better place.

So I do not apologize to anyone for being positive, and nor does it come from a lack of experiencing tragedy, because I have.  However I will be positive and so should you, because it will help you, it will give you good health, energy, confidence and ultimately success and by helping you it will empower to help others.

Just because I chose to laugh does not mean my life is easy, just because I have a smile on my face everyday does not mean something is not bothering me, I chose to move on and not dwell on all the negatives in my life. Every new moment gives me the chance to renew anew. I chose to be that.

Cody Mccasland.

 
– Jahan Choudhry
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This is part 8 of the mind diet series, please read this: https://jahanc.wordpress.com/2010/09/29/the-mind-diet-part-6/

In my last article I spoke about how to deal with stress. I said stress is essentially fear which is related to:

1. Level of power

You would not have any stress if I asked you to turn this computer off because this is something easy, something you have complete power over. So one key way you can avoid stress is to increase your power (or capability as some find the word “power” a bit too much), be it financially, physically or personality wise, so you can put a big distance between yourself and situations which might cause you stress, e.g. if you are a millionaire you will not have the stress of worrying about paying the rent.

2. Your level of confidence (mentioned in: https://jahanc.wordpress.com/2010/09/29/the-mind-diet-part-6/)

The more confidence you have in yourself, the less you will be worried, even if the worst does come because you know you will be able to overcome it. So for example even if you were to be made redundant, you know you could find a better job. Confidence is an accumulative process gained through focusing on small successes every day. At first it may be difficult, you may think “What do I have to be happy about? I’m a loser…nothing is going right.” In fact there is something for everyone to look at as a success. The very fact that you are reading this means: 1. You either have your own computer (so you had the money to buy it, thus a success) or at least access to one (so you either have a friend – some people have hardly any friends – with a computer, or work/study in a place which does). 2. Some people cannot even read. This may seem “funny” but as a former literacy tutor (I have been an employability trainer as well as teaching English to foreigners and literacy, that is teaching English-speaking people how to read and write) I know that this problem is more common than many realize. So confidence is gained by looking at whatever success you have, focusing on it more, viewing every “small” success as a success, looking back at times when you overcame things until it becomes so habitual that it is embedded in to your personality. You then have a different outlook on life and can deal with challenges and stress more effectively.

3. Examining the “undesired” outcome.

Sometimes people have stress over undesired outcomes, which in fact are not as bad as they may seem. So what if some people think you are not “cool” because you are not wearing the latest fashion, or if your team don’t win the soccer or baseball match.  There are people who have commited suicide over popstars breaking away from their pop group. On a more serious level, there are things which definitely need to be worried about for example losing your home, your partner, your job, an important business deal or other things. Some of these might be unavoidable, maybe you and your partner really cannot reconcile no matter how hard you try, maybe you will lose your job when there is a recession. However you have confidence in your ability to overcome that and realize that maybe it is even a hidden blessing and something better will emerge. Maybe you will meet someone better, or get another better job.

Anger, upset.

Having spoken of the healthy mental “foods” which you should be feeding your mind, I then went on to speaking about the unhealthy ones. There are many and we can simply call them “negative thoughts/feelings”. However as I said in a previous article two of the most common are stress and anger/upset.

Anger and upset are similar but not the same. Anger is more active and external, when you are angry you may take it out on someone or even be violent.  Upset can mean the same or it can mean an internal passive unhappiness whereby you confine negative feelings to yourself. This is in fact mental bacteria as all negative thoughts are. This is not to say that all negative thoughts are bad, in fact life is a lesson and we are not meant to live in constant happiness from birth to the grave, rather it is an adventure, a novel, or a film whereby we go through challenges and difficulties and learn from them. It is natural and in some ways healthy that at times we are upset, angry, disappointed and so on, but not if it destroys our ability to be financially and personally successful.

Upset, sadness.

Anger, regular anger is not the trait of a calm and successful person.

This is a huge topic and a book, in fact not a book, but a series of books with different volumes could be written on this. I will discuss this more in later articles.  However there are some things which you can do now to avoid becoming angry and I will share one of the most important today.

The power of “should”

“Should” is one of the most important words in the English language. In fact it is not just a word, but a concept. In fact it is not just a concept but can be a law, or laws, both moral and cultural as well as being legal and governmental which glue the society that we live in. From a young age we are taught “shoulds” and “should nots”, and so we should. However though “should” is a very useful word, “you should help others”, “you should be honest with your customers”, it is a double edged sword.

The misuse of should is what often leads to great anger. When we create “shoulds” for ourselves and these “shoulds” are not met then we become angry. My husband “should” compliment on my new dress, but he doesn’t. My wife “should” do this. That man “should” have said thank you for me opening the door for him, but he didn’t, what an idiot! My boss “should” have treated me like he treated the other employee. There are many shoulds that we make. Some of them are unnecessary. We create a “should” and when it is met, we become angry. We create an expectation, we then become disappointed when it is not met. We even think there is something wrong with us. “Why do people treat me like this? Why? Why me? Why not him or her?”.  In fact there is nothing wrong with you. Everyone should be happy for who and what they are. If your partner does not compliment you on your dress, that is his problem not yours. If someone doesn’t thank you for opening the door, there is nothing wrong with you but with him. Live life without lots of “shoulds”, be prepared to meet many idiots on the way and just smile and replace “should” with, “it would be nice”.

“He didn’t compliment me on my new dress, it would be nice, but he didn’t but hey I’m happy with who I am.”

“He didn’t say thank you when I opened the door for him, it would be nice, but he didn’t but I’m happy with who I am.”

“People aren’t grateful to me for the favours I do, it would be nice but they don’t but I’m happy with who I am.”

“It would be nice if everything would go my way, but it doesn’t but I’m happy with who I am and I will be a success.”

You will feel less anger because you have less expectations and lower standards. The decrease in anger will lead to an increase in the quality of your life. The increased calmness will lead to improved decision making. The internal happiness that is inside you will transmit itself to others and people will be drawn to you. In terms of business, each individual is a brand and the image and feel that you transmit contributes to the brand image people have of  you. Removing unnecessary “shoulds” is one key way of decreasing anger and upset. This does not mean being a passive doormat that accepts everything. Have self-respect and fight for your rights. Be prepared to write letters of complaint, but do it in a calm, dignified way, not a bitter “They should have done this and that…this is wrong, there should be…and it should be..”. No, the world is full of morons and unfairness, but be strong, and have an inner strength and stability and you will see greater success.

– Jahan Choudhry.

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We have now come to the next part of the series on the mind diet.  The mind diet is a mental diet where instead of focusing on taking in healthy food and not taking in unhealthy ones, we focus on taking in healthy thoughts and feelings and not taking in unhealthy ones.

So far we have covered the 5 mental “fruits” a day that one should be having every day. Let us recap what they are:

1 . Abundance

To focus on all the positive things around us and thus to increase them. Success breeds success.

https://jahanc.wordpress.com/2010/09/01/mind-diet-part-1/

2. Relaxation

To take time out each day just to relax, and thereby cleanse our body and mind, this is an effect a mental shower as it gets rid of a lot of the stress you accumulate in your day as a shower removes the dirt you gather in the course of your day.

https://jahanc.wordpress.com/2010/09/16/mind-diet-part-2/

3. Humour

Humour relaxes your body and is a form of relaxation but it is more active and stronger. Your body is more energized and freshened with endorphins released, it is a great energy boost and can make your mind function clearer enabling you to make wiser decisions rather than emotional ones.

https://jahanc.wordpress.com/2010/09/18/mind-diet-part-3/

4. Mental exercise

To do difficult, but enjoyable, mental exercises whether that be crosswords, play chess, remember phone numbers, mathematical sums or anything that stretches the brain and keeps it fresh and fit.

https://jahanc.wordpress.com/2010/09/24/mind-diet-part-4/

5. Learning

Learning about something new which will expand your knowledge of the world and of life, whether it be something academic or practical. Learning makes you a richer person and a more fulfilled and multi-dimensional one.  It helps you with your business skills, because one who has wider general knowledge or even knowledge of  a specific field is just a more informed person.

So these are the 5 regular things you should be having every day in your mental diet.  Just as regular food has vitamins, minerals and other nutritional benefits, so do these mental thoughts have benefits in terms of your mental health. 

Harmful mental “food”.

We have anything from 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts a day, depending on how you measure it and how long you are awake.  However the vast majority of these thoughts are negative.  However negative thoughts are not merely abstract things confined to your mind which have no impact beyond. In fact they have a very real impact on your body and on your life.

To illustrate this.  Imagine you were to be constantly stressed and full of tension, what sort of mental impact would this have on you?

It could lead to heart disease, blood pressure, premature aging, weaking of the immune system and many other things.

Stress has a direct impact on the entire human body, including your skin – a stressed person’s skin is not as healthy as a happier person and they will age and wrinkle quicker – organs, immune system and even down to your cells.  This of course has an impact on your personal success and business success.  A healthy and active person is of course more successful than an unhealthy one.

Many writers speak of the need to eliminate negative thinking and thoughts.  However it is easier said than done. However I will take a more scientific and methodical approach to this. Two of the main causes of negative feelings are stress and being upset.

Stress

In order to deal with anything, the first 50% of the job is to understand it. What is stress? Stress is fundamentally two things:

1. The fear of something which we do not desire happening.

2. The desire to achieve something important and not being able to do it, thus the fear of the consequences of not achieving it e.g. being fired, losing our home, our relationship ending.

So no.2 is still the same as no.1 as it is about fear of something happening.

So we are going to do this in a scientific i.e. methodical manner, and now ask how do we deal with fear?

Fear comes from the thought that something which you do not want to happen will happen.  You have no control, or little control of it happening, because if you did have control of it happening or not, you would of course make sure it doesn’t happen.  Let me give you an example.  Someone hears that in his company there will be redunancies.  He then fears he may lose his job.  He has no control over whether he will lose his job or not.  However another person in the same company is actually, unknown to everyone else, very good friends with, or related to the person responsible for the redundancies.  He has no fear because he has control (in the form of his relationship with the manager).

Fear stems from the level of control you have over the desired/undesired outcome, and also what is at stake. For example a man who fears that he may lose his house will obviously be experiencing greater stress and fear than a man who fears he may face a parking ticket. 

So let us now look at how we deal with these two things; 1. The level of control we have over something, 2; How to deal with the undesired outcome happening.

1. Level of control

This relates to feeling powerless or impotent over your ability to make something happen. When we have full power over something happening we have no fear. If for example I said to you please close your eyes for 3 seconds, you would have no fear about this. Why? Because you have complete control over it. You are in total charge of your eyes. If however I said to you go and ask your boss for a payrise, you would have some fear because you are not in charge over deciding whether you have a payrise, the decision is in his hands. The more power and control you have over something the less fear you have it. You have no doubts about it happening, you are more than confident, you are certain. Let’s look at that word “confident.”

A confident person.

Confidence

One of the keys to overcoming fear is confidence.  Confidence can be broken up in to being calm, that is not panicking and having self-belief in yourself and your ability or in God, or life whatever our beliefs are.  For example in soccer, major tournaments see teams which draw knock-out games having to settle the game through scoring penalties.  I can usually tell in advance if a football player will score a penalty or not by his body language. The ones that are looking nervous and not confident usually fail to score.

Those that walk in a confident and powerful way usually score. They are 1. Not nervous 2. Belief in themselves and their ability to score.  Thus you deal with stress by saying “let me calm down”, whatever happens I will succeed because I know I can, or if the worst happens it will happen but I will recover from it.

This is all easier said than done. The question is how do you gain this confidence? You gain this confidence by everyday thinking of all the successes you have achieved in your life, from the smallest e.g. writing a successful email, to bigger ones such as succeeding in getting a job and so on.  Your mind should constantly be fed with memories of times and situations when you faced difficulties and overcome them, when you succeeded. This naturally increases your confidence and your belief in your ability to succeed or deal with any problem. If you are not a confident person and are in fact a nervous one this is a gradual process, every day you think of examples of where you succeeded and start building up your levels of confidence.

In my next article I will continue on how to deal with stress and also with upset, two poisionous “foods” which we feed our mind with constantly.

– Jahan Choudhry

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We have been discussing the mind diet and the 5 regular mental “fruits” that we should be consuming mentally, in the way we should be having 5 fruits a day for our physical health.  This blog is continuing from the previous one: https://jahanc.wordpress.com/2010/09/18/mind-diet-part-3/

1 . Abundance

To focus on all the positive things around us and thus to increase them. Success breeds success.

2. Relaxation

To take time out each day just to relax, and thereby cleanse our body and mind, this is an effect a mental shower as it gets rid of a lot of the stress you accumulate in your day as a shower removes the dirt you gather in the course of your day.

3. Humour

Humour relaxes your body and is a form of relaxation but it is more active and stronger. Your body is more energized and freshened with endorphins released, it is a great energy boost and can make your mind function clearer enabling you to make wiser decisions rather than emotional ones.

Mental Challenges

The fourth “fruit” in our daily mind diet is that of mental exercise or mental challenges. This can be in the form of crosswords, chess problems on the back of a newspaper, remembering telephone numbers or anything which stretches your mental ability, it is akin to going to the gym but in a mental way. We are all familiar with the health benefits of going to the gym and physical exercise, in fact many companies provide gym facilities for their staff, but we are not as familiar with the benefits of mental exercise.

Mental exercises and activities stop the aging process of the human mind. In order to look physically young we do physically young we do physical exercises, but in order to retain our sharpness and mental freshness we need to do such activities to prevent what is called “cognitive decline”. People who are middle-aged and are “scatty” are often so because mentally they are not active. To give an extreme example mental exercise may even prevent Alzheimer’s disease.

So as part of your daily mind diet regime, you should have a mentally difficult and challenging activity which really pushes you, but ultimately gives you a feeling of satisfaction when you achieve it. This will make your mind stronger and fresher and – for the executives and professionals reading this – optimize your personal and business performance during the day.

Mental exercise helps professionals to be sharp and confident in being at their best.

This area is called “brain fitness”, so just as you require body fitness,  you require brain fitness. Different authors have written about this field and the famous writer Tony Buzan has written about something related (though not exactly the same) on how to improve your mental performance.

Successful millionaire writer and speaker Tony Buzan.

So mental exercise helps us to keep young and mentally healthy. It also gives us a boost. We are immersed in trying to solve a problem or task, so therefore we are practising the highly useful skill of “focus” or complete “concentration”. We exclude other things from our mind and mental chatter. Many successful businesspeople, sportsmen and women will tell you one of the key factors of their success was their ability to be single-minded, to think of only one thing and exclude other things. David Beckham for example achieved the global success he has by practising for hours and hours…..and hours, on his way to becoming a world-famous sportsman and now also a brand in his own right. When we are focused on one thing and exclude mental chatter, our breathing changes. Our whole body system functions more smoothly, free of worries or upset, but just focus on one thing.

David Beckham, a professional sportsman who rose to success by dedication and concentration.

Beckham, now a multi-millionaire recognized by hundreds of millions through out the world.

In addition to the great benefit of concentration, the feeling of satisfaction one gets from solving a mental challenge gives you a boost, and thus confidence in your own ability. Personal and business success is about confidence, about believing in yourself first, so then others will believe in you. There is a “feel-good” factor about solving something and it can even translate into a glow on your face, which projects success. People are attracted to success, and success breeds more success.

So this is the fourth out of our five daily mental “fruits” a day. I will be mentioning this more in the future with more detail.

–  Jahan Choudhry

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Mind diet, part 3.

In the previous two articles about the  mind diet we spoke about how keeping a healthy mind, and being careful about what you put in it is just as important as a normal food diet.  We looked at some important things that we should feed our mind on daily basis.

1. Abundance

  Focusing on all the positive things in our life, or all the positive events on that day, no matter how insignificant they may seem.

2. Relaxation  

 The importance of relaxation.  Relaxation is very important. Just as we need sleep to recharge ourselves, and just as sleep reinvigorates us and our biological system renergizes the body during sleep, so does relaxation whilst conscious.  It is a form of emotional cleansing.  Just as we go to the bathroom to remove toxins from our body, so our body does a similar thing when we relax, especially if we focus on all the tension, pain and other negativity we have mentally accumulated through out the day being released and going away.

The third mental “fruit” out of our “5 mental fruits a day” is entertainment/humour.

Humour/entertainment.

Humour is something important and has many health benefits to the extent that there are even professional medical practitioners who have opened their own “laughter clinics” or something similar such as Patch Adams in the USA and Robert Holden in the UK or Dr Madan Kataria in India.  There are physical benefits to laughing such as releasing endorphins, relaxing the body and its muscles, boosting the immune system, preventing heart disease, exercise for the facial muscles as your jaw and mouth open and are stimulated heavily, this contributes to keeping your face looking younger, whereas an overly serious, or even depressed person, will have a face that starts to age quickly, or even start to have white hair very early. Laughter also helps prevent heart disease.

So how does this relate to optimizing your performance as a professional, an entrepreneur or increase your personal success? If you have ever attended a professional seminar by some of the world’s top speakers including for instance Tony Robbins, you will notice that they always inject humour into their delivery. Robbins is a man who has even coached several US presidents. Laughing and humour is a healthy exercise which should be practised daily. Apart from making one feel better, it relieves anger and frustration. When someone is angry and upset they may make hasty or poor decisions in their anger, they may not have a level head and they may ruin their relations with other work colleagues through arguments. They may react to provocations more than if they were a bit more humourous and light-hearted and decided they could ignore bad or provocative behaviour.

This improves the quality of their executive decision making, thus it optimizes their performance. Think back to times when you were angry and made decisions or commited actions which you later regreted and realized only happened due to your anger. Can you think of any?

Exactly.  Now incorporating a certain amount of time in your day for humour should not mean that you trivialize or belittle what you do even if it is something serious. For example if one is a surgeon performing vital life and death operations then one should be careful and responsible, but however in order to optimize ones performance, one will need some light humour or entertainment during the day in order to bring the best out of you. For example, would it be better for the surgeon to speak to the relatives of their patient with a serious and stern look, or with a warm but sympathetic smile? Which one would inspire more confidence in the relatives? The smile would of course. Having a laughter exercise during your day, or in the night should not negate your desire to perform the job that you do to the utmost level of professional excellence.

If you see world statesmen, such as the US president or the Russian, British, French or other leaders discussing serious affairs which affect the lives of millions you will see that they will still have a smile on their face and engage in some light-hearted humour. These are people at the very “top of their game”, who are in fact the most senior, the highest, the top executives in their country, they are not heads of companies, but heads of whole nations.

Two heads of armed nuclear powers, Obama of the USA and Sarkozy of France, alongside Chancellor Angela Merkel of Germany in a high-level political meeting.

So whilst in the course of working hard during our day and being serious, a few minutes should be spent on humour, or some form of entertainment which relaxes us or makes us smile, whether this is a funny book, humourous. As with all things in the mind diet it is better to have an allocated time in the day when you are free and not working to do this. It is good to do this before you do your relaxation and abundance exercises as it makes those two exercises far easier. Humour is your third mental fruit of the day out of your 5 mental fruits a day.

Jahan Choudhry

 

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This is the second part of my article on the “mind diet”. The first part can be read here: https://jahanc.wordpress.com/2010/09/01/mind-diet-part-1/

Mind diet, part 2.

In my previous blog I spoke about the mind diet. I said that just as we need to be careful what we allow to go inside into our body, we also need to be careful what we allow to go inside our mind. We need to avoid harmful things going in to our mind, just as we do with our body, and also try to put in beneficial things in our mind, as we do with our bodies.

The mind and the body are related, and a healthy mind helps to bring about a healthy body as well, in conjunction with the right diet and exercise.

Just as we are encouraged to have five fruits a day for our body, I will tell you of five pieces of mental food and nourishment you should have a day to have a healthy mind (and thus body) and greater personal and business success.

 

1. Abundance

The first beneficial thing I stated that should be put into your mind is abundance.

“Abdunance”, basically means just taking a few seconds or minutes out to think about something good which has happened to you whether it is “insignificant” as someone saying thank you to something, arriving at work on time or even just having your sight, or something as major as winning yet another £1 million contract. Focus on good consistently and you will start seeing more and more good coming your way.

2. Relaxation

The second thing is relaxation. One of the biggest problems with this is people ask the question.

“How do I relax? I worry if I am relaxing correctly”.

Now, let’s look at that sentence again in a bit more detail.

“How do I relax?”

That is a question asking for more information about something you don’t know. No problem.

Then, “I worry if I am relaxing correctly”.

There is something odd with that sentence isn’t there? If you don’t know then before carrying on reading, keep on reading that sentence until you finally figure out what it is, and if after trying you can’t then carry on reading this article (trying to work something out, rather than being just told it, is exercise for the mind and makes you rememer that piece of information more than if you were simply told it).

Did you get it?

If you did, great! If you didn’t this is the “odd” thing about the sentence.

“I worry if I am relaxing correctly”.

The problem when many people try to relax is they worry about how to relax properly. This is what we call an oxymoron (a self-contradictory phrase). You cannot “worry” about how to “relax”, because relaxing is the exact opposite of “worry”. The correct way to relax is simply to do whatever makes your mind stop thinking and trying to calculate things out, but just relaxes and enjoys peace.

“Meditation” seems like a very heavy term, but meditation is simply when your mind relaxes and stops constant mental chatter. When you stop mental chatter you stop using the left side of your brain which deals with planning, organizing and maths, and your right side of your brain is functioning which deals with creativity and imagination.

There are different ways to relax, but the best way to relax is to do whatever works for you. For some it may be listening to soothing music. For others it may be lying down on the sofa, for others it may be a relaxing bath. As long as you are spending quality time, not worrying about anything, not thinking too hard but just calm and content you are relaxing and recharging your body.

For those of you who are going through serious problems, and might even be somewhat angry reading this information which you think does not realize how bad our situation is or trivializes it, and ask the question “how on earth can I relax?! I have to….pay my debts/find a flat/solve my arguments with my partner/get over my divorce etc”, then you have to understand the following. Saying you can’t relax is the same as saying you can’t sleep. Even when people have serious problems they will never solve them by saying “I won’t sleep tonight and just worry about my problems and that will solve them”, because it won’t.

Even these people realize that we all know rest and need our sleep.

Therefore if you can find time to sleep you can also find time to relax, even if it is just 5 minutes of listening to relaxing music, lying down, enjoying the fresh air in a garden or a bubble bath (it is better to relax with your body resting somewhere and your eyes closed), because that 5 minutes is 300 seconds and in that space of time your bodys blood and cells will be circulating more smoothly.

A relaxed individual is one whose performance in life, work and in business is better than a nervous, worried or agitated person. A relaxed person is one who inspires confidence in us all. So the second part of your mind diet is to incorporate a daily 5-15 minutes of relaxation in your day, whether it be in the morning or evening, and as well as relaxing you can also focus on positive things at the same time.

All of this will help you with increased personal success and also optimizing your performance as a business executive or professional.

In my next article I will speak about the third element in your “mind diet”. In future articles however I will speak again and in more depth about both “abundance” and “relaxation”.

– Jahan Choudhry.

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Mind diet, part 1.

In my previous blog I spoke about self-acceptance (see https://jahanc.wordpress.com/2010/08/31/self-acceptance/). Self-acceptance is the fundamental foundation upon which your success both personal and financial will be built on. A person who is at peace with himself, is at peace with the world and one to whom people will naturally gravitate and warm to. Someone who has internal anger, upset and grievances is one who people may steer clear of. A constant internal dialogue of upset and unhappiness is like as I said before a hole in a boat from which water is leaking, unless that hole is patched water will keep on leaking and causing problems for the boat. Also when you accept yourself, i.e. unconditional love of who you are and what you regardless of how “bad” or “useless” you or your life may be, you will find that life/the universe will work with you, not against you. Also you may not realize but your body, which is a very sophisticated piece of machinery, in fact the most sophisticated known to man, will operate and flow more smoothly and efficiently. There will be health benefits.

The next step in your road to success after self-acceptance is what I call a “mind diet” or a “mind regime”. We are all familiar with food diets. We all know that you have to be careful about what you eat, it will affect your heart, lungs, other organs, skin and immune system.

We all know we should not eat “fast food” or “junk food”.

We know junk food can give us problems such as heart disease, clogged up artieries and many other illnesses.

Therefore many of us go on diets and are very careful of what we allow to go inside our bodies. Certain types of food, in excess, are essentially poisons. We also sometimes go on an exercise programme which goes with our diet as an overall “health regime”.

“Mind regime”.

However what many do not realise is that we have to do exactly the same in protecting our mind in the way we protect our health. Negative thoughts ultimately breed negative events, and they also have an impact on our bodies. In terms of food we are told not to eat too many fatty foods, oily foods and to eat the right amounts of fruit and vegetables and other healthy foods.

I will be telling you in this post, in general terms, what sort of “mind food” you should be putting in your mind.

1. Abundance

“Abundance” is a term used in personal success coaching to talk about focusing on all the good things that you have in your life. One could even be a beggar but if one focuses on some of the positive things that one has such as sight and hearing and anything else then one will start to attract more of this, i.e. things to be happy about, rather than the opposite which is to focus on “I don’t have this….aaargh life sucks…this happened…that happened” and guess what will happen?

Yes, you’ve guessed it you will be having more “I don’t have this…aargh ife sucks…this happened…that happened” moments not less.

A miserable person is not a successful person.

This is all based on something, which perhaps most of my readers though maybe not all, will be familiar with called “the law of attraction”. The law of attraction is a rule so simple which even a 7 year old can understand (if you don’t believe me, try it and ask a young child that you or your family know), but also a rule so fundamental, that even successful millionaire businessmen who travel the world will affirm.

It is this: ” What you focus on, is what you get”

If you think I’ll never be successful, I’m not good enough, what will happen?

Yes, exactly, you won’t be successful.

So take a few minutes of your life (in my personal programmes, I work with clients on specifics) to practise “abundance”. Even if you are in debt, or have been sacked, or separated from your partner just take a second and think of what you do have, your health, your sanity, your friends, your family, your clothes. Focus on that, be grateful and if you apply this consistently every day then over a course of weeks or months you will see the change.

This does not mean…

Ignore your problems and lie to yourself and imagine they don’t exist. No. Life is essentially a huge class or course, in which we constantly have problems and challenges and which we develope ourselves by overcoming them. One of my own mentors, is one of the – if not the – happiest people I know. He has problems to deal with, including recently taking care of a member of his family, however he always has a smile on his face, a natural smile which comes from a very fundamental and deeply set understanding, developed over years, of how life works and how to be successful.

In my next blog I will speak more about the “mind diet” and the other key ingredients needed in it.

Also for the business-minded amongst you all of this relates to the commercial world, and executive performance optimization, which something I and my company deal with.

– Jahan

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