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Being narcisstic is good!

Being a narcissus is good!

I am proud to say that. I am a “narcissus”.

Actually led me qualify that, I am not a narcissus in that I think I am better than others or look down on them. In fact that sort of superiority complex is very dangerous and will most likely lead to life teaching us some humility. The term “narcissus” derives from a story in Greek mythology of a young man who was exceptionally good looking and ended up going to the river and seeing a reflection of himself, so enamoured was he with what he felt was the sheer beauty of his image that he stayed there, not leaving it and ended up dying and then being transformed in to a flower. I am a narcissus in the sense that I am a handsome Greek man, or a flower.

A narcissus flower.

So now you know that I am not Greek and I am not a flower, and you also know that I do not look down on others and in fact think it is, as I said “dangerous”, as I personally know some people who were arrogant and even internally looked down upon others only to be humbled later on in life and being afflicted with the same problems they had. How then am I am narcissus?
 
How am I a narcissus?
 
I am a narcissus in that I look at myself and appreciate myself. If a husband looked at his wife and complimented her on her beauty, and in no way disparaged others is there anything wrong with that? Far from it. So what if he himself looked at himself and thought he was handsome, or admired his positive qualities.
 
I encourage everyone to “accept” themselves for who they are (read my blog on self-acceptance) and to practise “abundance” (read my blog on abdunance) and celebrate themselves, praise themselves, admire the good qualities about themselves, whilst not:
 
1. Being blind to their faults and areas of improvement.
2. Looking down on others, or even being too concerned with them at all.
 
Many people feel unloved, have low self-esteem and seek to try and rectify this through external validation of others. No, don’t. First accept yourself, love yourself, admire yourself. So I am a “semi-narcissus”. I will elaborate more on some of the points in later blogs.
 
 
– Jahan Choudhry
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In this article I am going to talk about anchoring and “anchors”. Now I am not referring to the anchors that you see on ships or boats, but an even more important and common place type of anchor, which all of us are subject to.

A stylized anchor.

This anchor is a psychological one. It basically means reproducing a state or emotion when you see or think of something that reminds you of a particular moment in the past. In the context of motivational psychology it means something like the following example that I will present to you. You had an exam, a very important exam which you found very difficult. A lot depended on it, if you failed you could possibly suffer or your ambitions would be wrecked. You did the exam, then later you found the result. Not only did you pass, but you passed with flying colours. Your body releases certain chemicals, these chemicals actually have a positive health benefit on your body and if by the way such a state of emotional high and positivity were to be reproduced on a very regular basis it would have an amazingly positive impact on your body, phsyical health, emotional health and ultimately success.

An elated student.

 Image source.

Coaches that train people to produce their best, such as motivational coaches, sports coaches and others often use this technic. They get their client to remember a positive event in the past. A lot of the time it can be a huge obstacle or difficulty with great rewards as in the aforementioned example of the student who passed a difficult but important exam. Coaches reinforce their clients belief in their ability to overcome seemingly insurmountable obstacles and challenges by remembering similar situations in the past where they actually achieved their goals.

The law of attraction and anchoring.

Many people are familiar with the law of attraction, which in some ways is essentially basic common sense, as you can see from some of my examples in this following satirical, but serious article, click here to read, though however it should not be dismissed so easily as many so-called rational “sceptics” do. The key thing to remember with the law of attraction is that in addition to trying to attract what you seek, you will also need to do lots and lots of hard work. I for instance have quadrupled the hits to my blog in the short space of a few weeks by posting over 20 blogs in less than a month. Hard work does pay off, ultimately. To read another blog of mine where I spoke about the law of attraction, please click here.

When you constantly “anchor” and reproduce and recreate those feelings of success and achievement you had in the past, you are in effect going in to a state of positivity which will help (with the hard work required) to attract more of that success.

The more you remember and engage in the positive euphoria of previous successes, the more likely you will attract future successes.

In future blogs I will elaborate more on this very important and powerful technique.

– Jahan Choudhry

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The picture above is from one of my facebook contacts and I enjoyed reading it and wanted to share it. It contains an important message and it very much struck a chord with me. Those who know me, work with me and interact with me will find that I seem like a very positive person, and quite happy. The question then is have I ever experienced pain and suffering, and the answer to that is just like everyone else on this planet I have. In fact I have experienced things that other people have not. However my experiences have made me stronger and more resilient.

Self-pity

Image source.

Image source.

I had the choice to engage in self-pity and negativity, to dwell in that, and subconsciously want and even expect sympathy from others. Or I had the choice to be pro-active, to not engage in self-pity or being stuck in the past and move on. I chose the latter.

Now there are other people out there who are “turned off” by positive thinking and want to be negative and complain. A lot of that actually stems from laziness, that is not to deny that there are people out there who have suffered immensely and will take a long time to recover. They in fact dislike people who are too positive and there is a degree of jealousy.

Image source. Courtesy of Scott Albrecht.

If you have been following my recent blogs you will know that I have been talking that nothing is achieved without hard work, and that I myself am seeking to demonstrate this by writing 34 posts this month. All of these 34 posts must be original work of mine in my own words, must be 300 words minimum and must provide some sort of value or benefit for the reader, so far this is my 13 post so I will have 21 more posts left until the 29th February which works out at roughly 2 posts a day from now on.

Hard work = no time wasting = no time for feeling sorry for yourself

Now hard work means that you will be busy, you will be preoccupied, that you will be stretching yourself to meet deadlines, targets. When you are doing such a thing time is very precious and must be utilized in the best way as possible. Wasting time is a complete and utter NO NO. You simply do not have time to engage in unnecessary and unproductive things. One unproductive thing is too much thinking or wondering as opposed to DOING. Time waits for no one as the image above says. Successful people do not have time to feel how bad life has been to them and what a horrible place the world is. They are too busy making the world a better place.

So I do not apologize to anyone for being positive, and nor does it come from a lack of experiencing tragedy, because I have.  However I will be positive and so should you, because it will help you, it will give you good health, energy, confidence and ultimately success and by helping you it will empower to help others.

Just because I chose to laugh does not mean my life is easy, just because I have a smile on my face everyday does not mean something is not bothering me, I chose to move on and not dwell on all the negatives in my life. Every new moment gives me the chance to renew anew. I chose to be that.

Cody Mccasland.

 
– Jahan Choudhry

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I would like to share this image with my readers. It is a high level swimming pool from ultra-modern Singapore. As I said yesterday I will be posting more including images, quotes and other things of general interest. Why? When one sees something visually impressive it makes one appreciative, positive and thus is a form of engaging in “abundance”.

With thanks to Scott Nixon.

– Jahan Choudhry

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I will be posting more regularly. So far I have concentrated on producing quality including many articles around a 1,000 word but in addition to this I will now be posting pictures, or quotes, which though short will prove to be useful, entertaining, funny, informative or all of those combined in to one!

Some of them will be from facebook friends of mine.

The first is this one:

 

“Realize that true happiness lies within you. Waste no time and effort searching for peace and contentment and joy in the world outside. Remember that there is no happiness in having or in getting, but only in giving. Reach out. Share. Smile. Hug.”
Og Mandino

Courtesy of Elise Larsen.

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A few days ago I wrote a blog about the “follow me generation”, link which spoke about how the new generation is different to before because they keep in touch with each other via facebook, twitter and other social media and grow up together “following” what they are up to in their lives. This is in contrast to the past where people would meet in high school, university and work and often just lose touch, or maintain at least very tenous contact, with each other.

This phenomenon has had an impact on advertising and marketing. Anyway the blog covers all of this in more detail  including a reference to university research about this.

Within a few days this blog was the first out of two hundred and seventy two million webpages when you typed in the words “the follow me generation” on to Google. I am in London, UK so the search results provided for me are those of Google.co.uk.

Below is a printscreen of what I saw when I typed “The follow me generation” on Google yesterday. Please click on it to see more detail.

My article, "the follow me generation", was the first out of 272 million web pages.

This is a relatively minor success, but it’s important to remember every success that you have no matter how small it is and dwell on that more than you “dwell” on your failures. When you do focus on your failures, which you should do, do it in a calm analytical way rather than an emotional way.  In addition it can at times be better to do it in a light hearted, perhaps even jovial way. When however you think of your successes no matter how small, spend more time and mental energy on them and “dwell” on it more, and be as emotionally positive as you can or chose to be.
 
This is part of what we call practising “abundance”, which I spoke about in a previous article (click here to read the article). What you focus on more is what you attract more in to your life. So always focus on the good things going around you no matter how small they are and you will notice more and more “good things” coming to you. To repeat one of my favourite sayings which you will hear from me often, “Laugh and the world laughs with you, weep and you weep alone”.
 
 
 
 
 
Have a great day!
 
– Jahan Choudhry, author “the follow me generation”, an article which was no.1 out of 272,000,000 webpages.

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